Deployment Day +12

Chad called tonight! It's always good to hear from him! He sounded so tired. He's been going constantly. His day starts early with PT and he said quite often doesn't end until 8 or 9 at night. Hopefully things will slow down a bit for him and he'll feel like he can catch his breath. He said where they are at right now there's over 17,000 soldiers there and that the lines for phones and computer's are no less than 1 hr long most the time. He said the computer's are worse then the phone's, hence why he hasn't emailed me yet! The other night when he was able to get online, he said he waited over 1 1/2 hrs to get on! Insanity!!

It was still so nice to hear his voice.During the days I don't focus on missing him, but yet after I talk to him that longing to just have him home safe and sound is so intense.

Chad if you get to read this, I love and miss you so much. Right now it's quiet the boys are sleeping and the tv's off, just the humming of the computer. I miss the sound (get ready) of your heaving breathing/snoring . I miss crawling into bed and it already having that "warm" feel to it, because you're in there and knowing that if I'm cold I have a warm body to cuddle into. Our bed feels so big without you in it.

I think of you sleeping on a cot and how uncomfortable that must be, sleeping with all those other soldiers and the lack of privacy. So often I don't think about those little things. I can't imagine how it feels to not be at home. I've never gone without our children for more than overnight (and even then I'd seen them during the day and the very next day at our church's women's retreat this past April).

I wish so much we were together. I believe in what you're doing over there. I'm so proud of you. Your physical and spiritual and emotional strength. I'm proud that you're not afraid to show your emotions. I'm proud that you're strong in your beliefs and your faith. I am so proud that you're a soldier, even during the hard times.

Chad, you are my pillar of strength and you love me for being me. You treat me better than I deserve so often, when I'm being a jerk. Christ shines through you and I love you for that. I know this is personal and that I'm putting it all out here in a journal, but I want people to know what an amazing man you are.

You and our children have given me so much more than I ever dreamed in this life. I never thought I'd want to be a military wife. Now I can't imagine being anything but! It's not always an easy life, but it's the only life I know and I love it. I love you. Thank you Chad. Thank you for being a wonderful husband, father, son of God, and a soldier in our Army.

The next entry I'm sure will not be so "personal" but maybe this gives all of you a glimpse of the man you'll be learning about and who we're missing here.

God Bless