Friday, May 23, 2008

Long night

Today was better. It was actually a fairly normal day over all. We went with a friend to pick her son up from school, went to the commissary, book store, mail room, and then took the kids to what we call "airplane park". We let them play for about 1 hr and came home. I made dinner, pj's on, off to bed they went. Then it was quiet, really quiet and the tears just over came me.

I was talking to a wife, her husband is actually our Chaplain and we seem to all be feeling the same thing. You can deal with a deployment, they stink, you miss your husband, but you can handle it. What is just so beyond our grasp of understanding is 15 months. Twelve months I can do, 15 just literally takes my breath away when I think about it. The thought that he's going to miss our daughter's 1st  birthday AND most likely 2nd birthday breaks my heart. Knowing that for our youngest son, he's been here for his birth and this past birthday (his 4th) and that he's going to definately miss this next one and should HOPEFULLY be home for his 6th. Our oldest son, he'll only miss one birthday. It falls in January so it doesn't feel so huge when thinking of his birthday, but still. To think that he's going to miss 2 summers in a row, no camping trips most likely, no swimming at the Swimbad (pool), no baseball. There's just so much he'll be missing. It is just heartbreaking.

I KNOW, I mean I KNOW God has a plan for this and I believe it's all to bring us closer, make us stronger to HIM. That not only will our relationship with Christ grow, but our relationships with each other will grow, let me tell you though I'd really like to see them grow with us TOGETHER vs apart.

I promise this will NOT be a blog of me whining and complaining for the next 15 months, I know I'm not exactly off to a great start. I do want it to be honest though. Not everyday is happy, cheerful, and free of pain and issue's. This deployment has already started off pretty rough. Our van was totalled just 3 days before he left, and unfortunately not everything was settled before he left so now I get to finish dealing with the aftermath of all that and let me tell you, I HATE it!

Right now I just want to ask for prayers. Prayers that I can get things accomplished that I need and WANT to get accomplished. That Chad and I are able to communicate better than we ever have before. Oh speaking of that, we're going to read a book together...Sheet Music! :) We'll read a chapter at a time,take notes and then we'll talk about what we've read, learned, agree with, disagree with, etc. I'm REALLY excited about this, we've never done it before and once I'm done here I'm going to order the books for both of us! :)

Well I think I'm done complaining! Thanks for "listening", not judging, and most of all praying.


Just 452 days to go!


crewsfour said...

Sounds like you guys had a very busy and productive day.  I can't imagine 15 months, that just seems like such an unfathomable amount of time to be away.  It is tough on us as wives but for the kids I couldn't imagine - time moves so slowly to them and to think that Dad won't be home until next August is just horrible.  Do the boys grasp the length of this deployment?  I know my girls don't get it  they know by Christmas he should be home but still each morning they ask if its Christmas.  I love the idea of you two reading the same book, I've never heard of 'Sheet Music' is it a novel?   Let me know how that goes.   Leene

chat2missie said...

I think this is a wonderful idea!  I'll be keeping Chad in my prayers for a safe stay.
15 months is a long time, now I feel guilty whinning how I missed Kevin for just one night.  I'm here for you when you need to talk.

lv2trnscrb said...

Christy; been thinking of you because I knew this was the week; just didn't know which day for sure; you are all in my prayers; do send me Chad's address when you know it so I can send him mail and let me know what I can send him in a care package; I caught up reading all your entries you made in this journal for this new deployment

I can't imagine 15 months; never had to do anything like this, but do what you need to get through it and if that includes "whining" in your journal; "whine", "vent", whatever. Don't keep up a brave front, we won't know how you are feeling unless you let us know; also let us know how we can help you; I don't know what we can do, but if it would help to send kids care packages, even post cards from where we live, I know I'd be happy to do that; anything to break up the monotony of the days counting them down

my son got into trouble with the law and that is why I left journaling when I did in October of 2006; devastated me and left me in months of despair; he ended up on probation for a year and lost his license except for school/work (thank you Lord); I counted down 365 days like you are counting down your days; it was amazing in looking back how quick the time went; I know you have counted down days before with Chad's other deployments; you might have already done this "trick" before but I knew looking at a whole year was overwhelming so I just counted down to the next event; I knew I could get by to his birthday (first milestone, then it was Easter, then Memorial Day, his graduation, etc). The times were roughly 20-35 days apart; soon before I knew it the year was over; I'm not trying to minimize your time, just giving a "trick" that helped me cope with a very long year

hugs to you and yours


jfourb said...

I can't imagine how difficult this must be. We are all here for you if ever you need a friend, only an email away. I'll be sending lots of love, prayers and positive thoughts your way, for you and your family.


cvgflydis said...

I know this is so hard. I used to take it in increments, so not to feel overwhelmed by the number looming in front of me. But then again, I didn't have kids back then, and surely would have felt everything you are feeling!

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.


bhbner2him said...

Chad must be a jewel to do the book thing with you!  I can't see Pete ever doing that.  But as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder.  -  Barbara

ksgal3133 said...

Your not whining at all! Just take it one day at a time, that is all you can do. Ben's last deployment was almost 14 months long. I do understand...


chevyz71gurl74 said...

Keeping you guys in my prayers....

Christy this is your journal, if you want to be sad, whine, cry, share something good, whatever you feel...that is your right...and we are always here to listen...and are always here for you...

That is great that you and Chad are going to read a book together....

Big Hugs!!!