Today was better. It was actually a fairly normal day over all. We went with a friend to pick her son up from school, went to the commissary, book store, mail room, and then took the kids to what we call "airplane park". We let them play for about 1 hr and came home. I made dinner, pj's on, off to bed they went. Then it was quiet, really quiet and the tears just over came me.
I was talking to a wife, her husband is actually our Chaplain and we seem to all be feeling the same thing. You can deal with a deployment, they stink, you miss your husband, but you can handle it. What is just so beyond our grasp of understanding is 15 months. Twelve months I can do, 15 just literally takes my breath away when I think about it. The thought that he's going to miss our daughter's 1st birthday AND most likely 2nd birthday breaks my heart. Knowing that for our youngest son, he's been here for his birth and this past birthday (his 4th) and that he's going to definately miss this next one and should HOPEFULLY be home for his 6th. Our oldest son, he'll only miss one birthday. It falls in January so it doesn't feel so huge when thinking of his birthday, but still. To think that he's going to miss 2 summers in a row, no camping trips most likely, no swimming at the Swimbad (pool), no baseball. There's just so much he'll be missing. It is just heartbreaking.
I KNOW, I mean I KNOW God has a plan for this and I believe it's all to bring us closer, make us stronger to HIM. That not only will our relationship with Christ grow, but our relationships with each other will grow, let me tell you though I'd really like to see them grow with us TOGETHER vs apart.
I promise this will NOT be a blog of me whining and complaining for the next 15 months, I know I'm not exactly off to a great start. I do want it to be honest though. Not everyday is happy, cheerful, and free of pain and issue's. This deployment has already started off pretty rough. Our van was totalled just 3 days before he left, and unfortunately not everything was settled before he left so now I get to finish dealing with the aftermath of all that and let me tell you, I HATE it!
Right now I just want to ask for prayers. Prayers that I can get things accomplished that I need and WANT to get accomplished. That Chad and I are able to communicate better than we ever have before. Oh speaking of that, we're going to read a book together...Sheet Music! :) We'll read a chapter at a time,take notes and then we'll talk about what we've read, learned, agree with, disagree with, etc. I'm REALLY excited about this, we've never done it before and once I'm done here I'm going to order the books for both of us! :)
Well I think I'm done complaining! Thanks for "listening", not judging, and most of all praying.
Just 452 days to go!