Deployment Day +63...Stupid Kids

Ok, I saw this on the news today and this just infuriates me, this boy put soldiers into MORE danger because of his stupidity, curiosity, and disregard for American's in Iraq....these soldiers who are trying to do their job, have to do a side-job and get this kid out of danger. HOW this child got as VISA without his parents signature is beyond me, other than the obvious...that he FORGED their names. It's just ridiculous and has my blood just boiling. If I was the wife of the soldiers who had to get this stupid kid to the Embassy I'd be really ticked knowing they had to be put into even MORE danger for a child who obviously needs some more discipline in his life.

I know I can't say definitely how I'd react if one of my children did something so stupid, but I can say with almost certainty they'd get a lot more than a hug and a talking to...UGH!

Here's the link:

AOL News - Florida Teen's Iraq Adventure Draws to Close

Deployment Day +62

Sorry it's been a while since I updated. We all had a nice Christmas. The boys received tons of gifts, and Chad was even able to open up a few gifts himself! I'd sent him a Christmas tree and lights and a few decorations so he had some gifts under it! He has more coming, they told him a couple days ago that he currently has 2 boxes waiting for him, so hopefully at least one of those is from me! :) I have another box to mail out tomorrow to him. I must say it's really  nice to not have to pay postage to send him things, really makes life much easier on us in that dept. Last year there were times that postage cost more than the items combined that was sent to him.

We got to do a Video Teleconference with Chad on Christmas Eve. It was so nice for the boys and I to be in one room and Chad able to see all of us, with them having to be on my lap or pretty well on top of me, like they have to with the web cam (which is still such a huge blessing in itself!). The boys loved seeing Daddy on a screen bigger than our 17 in. flat screen computer!

Chad was able to get online on Christmas and although he didn't have his laptop (that Internet cafe is currently closed temporarily) I turned our web cam on so he could see us, see some of the gifts, the MESS of gifts that were all over the living room, a special gift from my mom (a plate with our family picture on it...really beautiful). He also called later that evening, but the boys were already in bed.

Chad got a calling card a few days ago, so he's called us two days in a row now, which has been really nice for the boys to get to hear Daddys voice since they haven't heard him much in the last few weeks. I have to say I know Chad's anxious for the Internet cafe that's close to him to open back up, and I definitely am! It's nice to see and hear him! Plus with the help of a good friend of ours (my best friends husband) he got it so my mic is fixed and Chad will be able to hear us now too!!! Anyways!

Chad's doing good. He's been working longer hours the last few days. Today he got to waste time looking for parts at the camp that he's at, and those parts which he was told "are here" of course are NOT there! Yeah...nothing like wasting a soldiers time looking for something that's not there, I'm sure he couldn't have done anything else more productive! LOL Ah...so is the life of a soldier! A lot of hurry up and wait or here go find this...oh never mind you wasted 6 hrs of your day and it's not here after all. That does aggravate me, because I know how much it aggravates Chad.

Chad hopefully will be getting his digital camera cord soon so he can transfer pictures onto his laptop easy. He has another little "thing" (my mind literally just went blank on the name of it! UGH) that he can transfer pictures from his camera onto his laptop, but until he can hook his laptop up to the Internet it's not going to do him much good! Anyways, once he sends me the pictures, I'll put a few on here! I'm hoping he's taken some of himself!! If not, I'll hound him to do that!

I have to mention that I know Chad really has been missing us terribly. He always has a hard time with deployments because his #1 priority is our family, as much as he loves the Army, he loves us more. Anyways....I'd been doing really good, missing him, but hanging in there. Christmas pretty well sucked out all that "hanging in there" feeling. I had a nice little cry, but I'm doing better now. This is the life though of an Army family. There's the ups and there are the downs. We're here to share those ups and downs. So don't worry, no need to tell me to "be strong" because seriously, even if I was just crying everyday, down in the dumps, telling someone to "be strong" just seems to push most deeper into sadness or despair, and it gets truly very annoying being told that, when they're not in your shoes, never have been, and most likely never will be. The closest I can tell you is when people would tell me "things will get better" after our daughter died. You can't ever know if things will get better, and honestly we all have the rights to feel sad, down, happy, and up...when we feel them. None of us can truly know how another feels, the best we can do is relate and even then most often that's a stretch, because we all have different life circumstances.

Ok, I know I really went on a whole other realm...I guess I get enough of either "Wow you're so strong" or "Keep being strong girl" that well I'm at my limit of being 1. told what and how to feel and do. 2. Feeling like people think they have the right to tell me how to think or feel. I think for the most part I do pretty good. I have my low moments and I have my high moments. I'm pretty average in that sense. I'm doing the best I can. I try to be the best wife to Chad, the best mom to our boys, and the best Child to God. I'm not perfect, none of us are...but I'm doing good I think.

Thank you each and every one of you for reading, supporting, and most of all praying for Chad and our family. It means the world to us.

God Bless

Deployment Day +54

A little update, I missed Chad being online, so he left me an IM. He's doing well, but busy. They're moving living quarters right now. He's supposed to have internet and tv in his room once he's moved, which I plan on mailing one of our extra tv's to him tomorrow, plus a few other gifts that will not be there in time for Christmas, but he knows they're coming.

Thank you for the prayers. If I don't update before then...

 

Our Family Wishes you a Very Merry CHRISTmas!

 

God Bless

Chad, Christy, and Family

Deployment Day +48: Small update and picture of tart burner! :)

I got to chat with Chad today! It was nice to talk to him. He's recieved 3 packages so far, and hopefully this weekend they'll deliver more to him, he has 2 or 3 yet from me and at least 1 from my parents for Christmas! Our company support group also decided to do a Secret Santa this year! They had us drop off wrapped gifts for our children at the battalion and then tonight Santa (and a few helpers) came and personally delivered the gifts that the children were told were from "Daddy" or in a few cases "Mommy" in Iraq! The boys were shocked to see Santa standing there, of course a moment later Jack turned around running and crying (he's not a fan! LOL ) Jacob I think was just dumbfounded...Santa was standing his our entry way with a gift! Jacob got these transformers go from different cars/trucks of course into the transfomer robot guys! (Funny how everything from my childhood has come back big for my own children!). Jack got this little Lion King set...little plush Simba and Nala and comes with a tree swing set, really cute. Jacob of course ripped right into his gift, showed off for the camera and happily smiled with Santa. Jack took the gift from Santa with a little hesitation (in my arms of course) and then started ripping into it, he got enough ripped to realize there was a toy in it and that was it, he was all excited! I wish I could have video taped it...but there is Christmas in 10 day!!! They took quite a few pictures and they'll be sending them down range to the soldier! :) Chad and I had gotten interrupted chatting earlier, so he called about 15 minutes after Santa and the crew had left so the boys thanked him and he got to hear the "EXCITEMENT" in their voices!! I know it made him miss them more, but he said he was still so happy that they got to have what they feel like is a touch of Daddy!

I did get 1 picture, although I'm not sure how well it turned out, so if it's decent I'll post it tomorrow. The picture I do have to post though, is of the Tart burner I ordered for Chad (which has actually been taken off the website I ordered it from, but the owner of the site very kindly sent me a picture!) and a picture of what tarts look like! :)

                 

 

As you can see from the picture above a tealight candle goes in the bottom, which in turn melts the tarts that you place in the top portion of the burner and they smell wonderfully delicious!

 

Well it's time for bed!

 

Deployment Day +47

I just finished talking to Chad. He's doing well. He was in a good mood! He's been Christmas shopping! Got to love the internet! LOL He also has recieved 4 boxes so far, 1 from me and 3 from others! I just ordered him something a little bit ago and maybe for those of you who want to send him a care package or another soldier a care package this would give you an idea.

I ordered him a tart burner and tarts. He picked out a few tarts he wanted and then I picked the rest. A friend of mine who has an online store is having a sale buy 12 for 5.00 (I'm going to pimp her site!) Creative Creations then I went to another site and got him an awesome tart burner, it has eagles on both sides of it! Of course I need to go buy him a bag of tea light candles and put those in his latest care package so hopefully they'll get there the same time or before his burner and tarts arrive! This way his room can smell nice. Obviously he will have to remember to blow out the candle when he leaves his room or goes to sleep, but that's anyone you know! A lot of their rooms stink, because of those boots (they don't breath well at all and the heavy socks they have to wear) let me just tell you those feet and boots do NOT smell good and I've got nearly 9 yrs of marriage and smelling them to attest to! LOL

He's still waiting on his Christmas package from us to show up, but hopefully by this weekend it'll be there, as long as it's there before Christmas. I know he was really wanting to decorate his room up for Christmas, so I hope it gets there and gives him a few days before Christmas to do that.

The boys and I are doing good. I have to admit I'm looking forward to Christmas, it will not be the same without Chad, but we're focusing on Jesus and the true reason for us to celebrate this day and how can we not find happiness when we focus on our Lord and Savior?

Well...this is a short entry. My boys are up and it's crafts time!

 

God Bless

 

PS To everyone who's been asking me what tarts are...go to the link that's on here and check them out for yourself! Here's a link to tart burners: Serenity Scents and More

I've bought a burner from her in the past, she has them for really great prices. I got Chad's burner from : Aurora's Kisses althoughthe one I bought is no longer on there because I got the only one that was available and she quickly pulled it down or has a program on her site that takes the pictures down as soon as it's sold! I'm going to have Chad take a picture of his burner when he gets it to show you all! I personally prefer tarts over candles!

Deployment Day +42: Prayers for Chad

I chatted a bit with Chad tonight, one of the last things he said was that in the next day or two, he plans to write and update and even wanted me to apologize for him not doing it sooner. I know all of you are understanding and realize I hope that lately especially time online has not been what it was in the beginning, we're now going sometimes just one day of not chatting, to at times many days. :(

It truly feels like a deployment for me and I feel like it definately does for him too. I need you to really be praying for Chad, not just his safety, but for his heart and his emotions. There's been a lot going on where he's at, and it's really bringing up memories of his friends who were killed there last yr when they were there. He's in the same area he was last year and that in itself is difficult for him, then add on that he lost 9 out of his company. The second group that died (it was 2 different groups..first time 4 were killed and the 2nd time 5 werek killed), anyways the 2nd group that died...Chad had called me because in the states it was still our daughter (who had died from leuekmia in 2000) it was her 7th birthday, he wanted to make sure I was ok, we'd never been apart for her birthday, and he was so worried about me (the man was in the middle of a war-torn country and he's worried about my emotional well-being). We talked for a while, remembering our precious and amazing daughter, then hung up. He was walking back to his barrack's room and he heard the explosion. He ran to find his Platoon leader, knowing that a group of our guys had just left to go out on a mission. The hopped in a vehicle and took off out the gate and were devestated to find that the small "convoy" you could call it that consisted of 4 or 5 tracks (sorry my memory is a little fuzzy on the amt) was going over a bridge, and a bomb was detinated and the 2nd track was blown up. When I saw blown up, I mean into pieces that was unrecognizable. These men were face to face with their brothers who they knew and loved, who were now dead. I can not imagine the pain, heartache, fear, and possible anger they felt as they looked at what had happened to their friends. The unit (and I'm just going to leave out the branch of military who was supposed to put these brave men into the body bags and carry them off the "battlefield" so to speak, they couldn't do it, they were getting sick, and asked these men who knew these soldiers who'd just been killed to carry them off, and so they did. How they did it, I will never understand. The strength that must have taken, at the sametime to know that it was soldiers who truly CARED about them speaks volumes I think. I'm not saying this just because one of those soldiers was Chad, but because I think as human beings to have to be put into that position to carry someone you carry who's barely if at all recognizable off the ground where they were just killed when 5 minutes earlier they were alive, very possibly laughing, talking about their wives, upcoming birth of their baby, the upcoming mission, etc....and now they were gone to Heaven, their battle truly over..anyways I'm just in awe.

Tonight though while chatting with Chad, I could tell something was bothering him. He said he just can't stop thinking about all of them...all 9 of them, but that certain ones just will never leave his mind. Sadly the last view he had of some of his friends are views none of us can ever imagine. He's told me the graphic details and honestly I could have lived without knowing how these guys who I had grown to care about and love ended up looking. He has a guilt that I'll never be able to comprehend, that surivors guilt. We've talked about a friend of ours who I know reads this, and the heartache he has for her and her children because she'll never have her husband back and those 3 beautiful children will never have their daddy back. He struggles understanding how and why, yet he continues, he believes, and he does his duty. Tonight, my husband is not so much in that "dark place", but he's fighting for sure to stay out of it. It's a place that I ache to see him in, and it's a place that I know I can't understand and I can't truly reach him in.

I feel very strongly we all have to grieve in our own way. Chad and I have lost our daughter, we know the ultimate pain and sacrifice. It doesn't make it any easier though when you lose a friend. I think in ways it's harder because we can truly relate to the pain they are or are about to face.

This is part of the Army life. There's past deployments, that will haunt you forever. There are those memories that you wish were just nightmares for yourself and for others. I wish with all my heart that my friend could have her husband back. I think of how I get lonely with Chad deployed, but I still get to talk to him fairly often, she doesn't ever get to see her husband type words back or hear his wonderful voice. It saddens me beyond belief. I admit between something happening to one of my boys or something happening to Chad, those are my worst fears. I know they're Chad's too.

Chad also shared that he's really, really missing our little girl. He aches for her. She had turned into such a Daddy's girl, and as much as it pained me at times when she chose him over me....he deserved that special time with her. He aches for her and he aches to have another little girl, who will NOT replace our daughter...but would give us the beauty of raising another little girl.

Tonight as I get ready to go to sleep, I'll be praying for my husband and I ask that you pray for him too. Pray for soft memories, of memories of him laughing and talking with these men, of beautiful memories of our little girl.

"Lord I ask that you wrap Chad in your loving arms. Let him feel peace in your safety, love, and promise of eternal life. I thank you for this man who's gentle, kind, tender, loving, who has a heart and is not afraid to show and share it. Thank you for allowing him to be able to express his sadness and confusion, when so often others try to shove those feelings and thoughts down hard and deep. Lord thank you for loving Chad, for giving us the promise that we will live in your Glory, forever and ever. In Jesus Name...Amen"

God Bless and thank you for coming, reading, and praying...

 

 

Deployment Day +39:Twas The Night Before Christmas: Soldiers Story

Twas the Night Before Christmas Soldier's Story

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
HE LIVED ALL ALONE,
IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF
PLASTER AND STONE.

I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY
WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,
AND TO SEE JUST WHO
IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.

I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,
A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,
NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,
NOT EVEN A TREE.

NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,
JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,
ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES
OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.

WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,
AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,
A SOBER THOUGHT
CAME THROUGH MY MIND.

FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,
IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,
I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,
ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.

THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,
SILENT, ALONE,
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR
IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.

THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,
THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,
NOT HOW I PICTURED
A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.

WAS THIS THE HERO
OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,
THE FLOOR FOR A BED?

I REALIZED THE FAMILIES
THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS
WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.

SOON ROUND THE WORLD,
THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,
AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE
A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.

THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM
EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,
LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.

I COULDN'T HELP WONDER
HOW MANY LAY ALONE,
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE
IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.

THE VERY THOUGHT
BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE,
I DROPPED TO MY KNEES
AND STARTED TO CRY.

THE SOLDIER AWAKENED
AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,
"SANTA DON'T CRY,
THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;

I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,
I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,
MY LIFE IS MY GOD,
MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS."

THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER
AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,
I COULDN'T CONTROL IT,
I CONTINUED TO WEEP.

I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,
SO SILENT AND STILL
AND WE BOTH SHIVERED
FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.

I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE
ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR
SO WILLING TO FIGHT.

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
WHISPERED, "CARRY ON SANTA,
IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE."

ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,
AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT."

Deployment Day +36

It's aftermidnight here in Germany...so we're officially on day 36. It's amazing that Chad's been gone 36 days already, we're down one month! So as most of you probably have heard a lot has been happening in Iraq, ok so there's ALWAYS a lot happening in Iraq. Right now where Chad's located at, he's not with his battalion, his job requires him to be at another base not far from his unit...so he's with mostly Marine's and those 10 brave Marine's who were killed are from where Chad's working at. We finally got to talk yesterday. I wasn't having a good day at all with the boys (they were playing in the playroom, climbed to the TOP of the closet...this particular closet is nothing but shelves...so our oldest climbed at least 6 shelves) they got into the fingerpaints and painted...oh how they painted. They painted the radiator, some of the windown, a little table, the dry-erase portion of the easle, part of a storage piece, a book, a little on the floor, and of course plenty was on them and their shirts. To say I was upset, is putting it lightly. I did get a picture (well I'd cleaned the window already...but got the rest). Poor Chad IM'd me at naptime,which had turned into our own little personal war and I was pretty well at the end of my rope. The IM session didn't go so well, and he called me an hour or two later, which was much better. Here he is off at war, and here I am the one crying her eyes out because these boys are driving me insane. I'm helping one of our neighbors out, she's getting ready to move to another post and already put in to take her baby out of the daycare center, so she needed someone to watch him until she leaves...so I'm helping her. That precious boy was my saving Grace on Friday. Of course while I was talking/well sobbing to Chad...getting out the sadness, anger, and just utter frustration the baby started to get upset...but just picking him up calmed him down, and Chad's calm, soothing, loving voice calmed me.

He's such a great guy. He had been up until 4 am Friday morning, getting things done for his unit, it's just him and his 2 soldiers. although since they sent up a vehicle to pick things up there was a little more help...but since the vehicle didn't even leave the recieving end camp until 9pm late night was undeniable. A nice thing is that as long as he has his work done, he can do things he wants and needs to do for himself...like getting to the gym, calling or emailing us, making sure his 2 soldiers are taken care of, etc.

I often think how unworthy I am of this man. He's not a prideful man. He's loving, tender, gentle, with strength that goes deeper than the physical strength that often men and women too associate with being strong. He's strong physically, but emotionally, and spiritually too. He's not perfect by any means..but he's still a great guy.

Tonight...I'm thankful. Thankful for this man who was brave enough 9 yrs ago to tell me that he loved me and wanted to marry me. Brave enough to be a soldier, brave enough to not let his upbringing (not having a dad around until he was a teen) stop him from being an amazing father, brave enough to stand up for his convictions.

There's a lot of "brave" people out there. So often the word Brave is thrown around very easily and carelessly...but I've met some true brave people. Our daughter, she was the BRAVEST person Chad and I have EVER known...Chad, he awes me. Many of our friends in the military and their families, Childhood Cancer families, they don't have a choice...but so many of them chose NOT to just fall apart, but to fight along with their children, searching for answers and not allowing anything but the best care for their children. Military kids, some of the most amazing children! Not all of them, but a lot of them!

Tonight, I hope you think of someone who you know who's truly brave. Sometimes it's not something they've done, but something they've gone through yet chose to not just crumble under it all.

The bravest person imo...Jesus Christ. This maybe our deployment journal...but neither Chad or I would have a lick of bravery, strength, intergrity, without Jesus.

 

God Bless

Deployment Day +33: Excellent Article

I am in the process of reading an article written by Senator Joe Lieberman...well let me say I'm impressed beyond words and sit here close to tears out of joy and pride and well honestly being assured that my feelings and beliefs have been proven to be correct from all people a Democrat who actually see's things IMHO in the RIGHT LIGHT!

Here's the article: http://www.opinionjournal.com/editorial/feature.html?id=110007611

Here are a few quotes that really struck me and that I think MORE American's NEED to HEAR:

"Here is an ironic finding I brought back from Iraq. While U.S. public opinion polls show serious declines in support for the war and increasing pessimism about how it will end, polls conducted by Iraqis for Iraqi universities show increasing optimism. Two-thirds say they are better off than they were under Saddam, and a resounding 82% are confident their lives in Iraq will be better a year from now than they are today. What a colossal mistake it would be for America's bipartisan political leadership to choose this moment in history to lose its will and, in the famous phrase, to seize defeat from the jaws of the coming victory. "

"I cannot say enough about the U.S. Army and Marines who are carrying most of the fight for us in Iraq. They are courageous, smart, effective, innovative, very honorable and very proud. After a Thanksgiving meal with a great group of Marines at Camp Fallujah in western Iraq, I asked their commander whether the morale of his troops had been hurt by the growing public dissent in America over the war in Iraq. His answer was insightful, instructive and inspirational: "I would guess that if the opposition and division at home go on a lot longer and get a lot deeper it might have some effect, but, Senator, my Marines are motivated by their devotion to each other and the cause, not by political debates."

 

The rest of the article is worth the read...so many American's are blinded by what the media is putting out there vs reading and finding out what is REALLY happening.

What Chad is doing over there is making a difference to the Iraqi people who want freedom's they have never had before. I'm so thankful to him and the rest of our military who's doing their JOB...this iswhat the military is for, somehow people have forgotten that.