Chad called tonight, it was so wonderful to talk to him. He let me vent.Here he is off fighting in a way and he calls home to hear his loved ones voices and gets to listen to his crazy wife complain about how the boys aren't cleaning the playroom and bedroom. He listens, he talks to the boys and tells them to clean their rooms and listen to their Crazy Mom! Ok so he didn't call me crazy, but I know he's thinking it or should be! LOL
Now a few hrs after hearing his calming and loving voice, I just feel so lonely. I miss him. I miss being able to talk to him every single day. I miss his hugs and kisses. I miss him coming home and giving me a break, by taking the boys outside (or taking over playground time so I can come inside and get things done or just get 10 minutes by myself). I miss sitting beside him in the evenings and being able to talk to him about any and everything. I miss him in our bed, for all the reasons. He's my best friend. It's how a husband and wife should feel about each other, and I do. I think he doubts that at times. I have my best "girl" friend, but over everyone it's Chad. He has my heart like no other person, he has my trust like no other. It truly goes God/Jesus, Chad, etc. Again it's how it should be.
I look forward to him being home in a few months. He's been having a hard time dealing with loneliness too and missing us. I can't fix that for him, just as he can't fix it for me. He has I think a security in knowing I'm surrounded by amazing friends here in Germany and that I have wonderful friends in the states that I stay in contact with too, but he knows that I miss him. I hope he does, if you're reading this Chad....I hope you understand how much I miss you.
One day at a time. I'm sure tomorrow will be better, right now though I miss my friend, my husband.